October, 2013

October went by in a flash. Parent/teacher conferences, Homecoming, a trip to victor with the Bass' to look at autumn leaves, Laura's senior pics, and, Halloween all kept up busy. These first bits of high school fun for Becca and the last for Laura. 

Parent teacher conferences were fine.  I realized that I am basically doing a good job.  The kiddos have Special Needs and I need to  be good to myself in understanding that I do my best and that is all I can do.  Most everyone is making progress, but there is always the one or two that lag behind. A couple of students have  had numerous foster homes. I can't change the fact that their mothers did them terrible  harm by doing drugs. All I can do is my best for the time that I have them. When they are with me, they are safe and they are loved.

Laura elected not to go to Homecoming.  At first, I was saddened by this.   I then realized that in her mind, she is already beyond high school.  She is preparing and saving for a trip to England next year. She wants to study to be a missionary, for a year, before going on to college.  I am learning to let go, but wow is it hard.

Becca LOVED everything about Homecoming. We went all out and bought a pretty dress, complete with red heals.  Jen Gray came over and did her hair.  She looked gorgeous!  She went with some friends,  so no date, this year.  It's so hard to know that my babies are all grown up.

Halloween was so much fun.  Charles,  Jen and Kaitlyn came over. We had soups and tons of Trick or Treaters.  To top it all off, Tom made a fire breathing Jack O' Lantern.

Balloon Fest 2013

I am a little late in the writing, but the last week has been a bit much.  I was looking forward to a wonderful Labor Day weekend and it mostly was.  We got up at 6 and went to Memorial Park on Saturday morning, to watch the balloon launch.  Our new neighbors across the street accompanied us.  As usual, the balloons were gorgeous and the company was fun.

On Sunday we went to church while Tom waited at home for the insurance adjuster to come.  We need a new roof, garage door, window screens, hot tub cover, paint, and the list goes on.  That was a whopper hail storm.

Monday we had family over and just had a plain good time.  Tom made a brisket that was delicious. Carole,Bernhardt, and Andre came over.  David,Val,Lilly, and Stephen also came over to enjoy the bbq.  It was great to see David home from law school. 

Good times.

I've Seen Fire and I've Seen Rain

Last Thursday was crazy.  We were getting ready to eat dinner, when we started hearing loud sounds like rocks hitting the house.  We looked outside to see hail the size of a quarter.  For the next half an hour, we watched as our garden and yard was pounded.  The garden is history except for the corn.  Our trees look bizarre as one side is thin due to their beating.  Our basement had water due to the hail piling up over the level of the bottom of our window wells.  The hail melted and spilled over into the window itself.  No damage in the basement.  Others were not so lucky.  Roads were washed out.  Voyager Parkway, the road behind our house was closed as there was an area with 4 FEET of water standing.  30 cars along the parkway were stranded and the passengers rescued.  Roads and bridges around town were washed away and this wasn't even around the fire scars.  The fire scar areas were flooded but most of the weather occurred around them rather than over them. My friend Julie Hamilton lost her home as she lived along the creek in Green Mountain Falls.  It has been a crazy, crazy summer in the weather department.

Various Stuff

I realized that I have not mentioned one of the highlights of my summer.  I have always wanted to learn to quilt. Thanks to Deb. Harnly, I got the chance for a great cause.  Calvary Methodist Church wanted to make quilts for families who lost their homes in the Black Forest fire.  They needed lots of help, but I taught on the day they gathered to sew.  Deb said that I could host my own quilting bee and donate the quilts.  I did.  Each Tuesday morning we gathered together, and thanks to Pat and Carm, I learned to quilt.  We were so grateful for Shirlley's donation that allowed us to buy batting for all of the quilts. We ended up donating 10 quilts.   Not bad as many of us were virgin quilt makers.

We are all back in school.  Becca started high school and Laura started her senior year.  I can't believe my babies are so grown up.  I am so proud of both of them. They are beautiful, smart, young ladies. My prayer for them is that they enjoy this time in their lives. Becca came home the first day in tears as she didn't know anyone in her new school.  All was better by the third day. Laura is just excited that this is the beginning of the end.

Michael's Visit

Last summer, Becca came home from camp with her cousin Michael on her heart.  She was determined to get him to Colorado and show him what life could be like without all the many problems he faces at home.  This summer, she remained faithful to what God called her to do and she asked that we bring him to our home and that he go on vacation with us. He did. 

We went to Fort Larimie in Wyoming, to Mount Rushmore, Sylvan Lake, and Devil's Tower.  So beautiful.  It was so much fun for all of us.  We missed Laura, as she was in Japan.  Michael helped us to not miss her quite so much.

God showed up and we had an absolutely awesome time.  Michael wants to come back at Christmas and I truly hope he does.  He is part of us and we love him.  We talked about everything.  I told him that he could make a difference in his life and work his way out of all the troubles at home. I talked to him about how I did it.  I told him that I believed in him and that all the work would be worth it.  It truly was.  He has gone back home and our home is not the same.  We wanted to change his way of thinking and as it turned out, he changed ours. He showed me that I can make the difference in his life. I cannot change his home life, but I can help him change how he deals with it.  We love you Michael.

Summer updates

Laura left for Japan. I was fine until a couple of days later when the momma Barn Swallow lined her babies up on the landing just below our bedroom window.  She coaxed each one off and had them test their wings.  I lost it.  With tears in my eyes I asked Tom "Can our Laura fly?".  She did fly and she flew with her wings strong and wide open.

She came home on the same day we came home from Mount Rushmore.  More on that and pictures to come later.  She was beyond tired due to the time changes.  She gathered us in the living room and gave each of us gifts.  I was given chop sticks.  Tom  was given a bottle of hot sauce.  Becca was given a Japanese sign.  Michael was  here visiting and she gave him Japanese candy.  She bought our family a Japanese doll to add to our doll collection. 

Over the last few weeks, we have learned that she wants to go back to Japan and teach English.  She is also considering doing mission work for a year.  I am so very proud of that girl of mine. We don't often see eye to eye on things, but I know she has a big heart and that she cares for others.

We learned that her host family's father was a fireman, so she was able to tour a Japanese fire house and try on their gear.  She got to go fishing where she was the only one that caught fish.  She  visited many temples and went to high school for a day.  She got to ride the "Bullet Train". She saw so many things that I will never experience and I love visiting Japan through her eyes. 

Before she left, I prayed that Laura's trip to Japan would be life changing for her.  It was.  She experienced a culture totally different than our own.  She had to rely on herself.  We had to let her go.  I knew that she would be different when she got back.  She was.  She was more mature and experienced. I was different too. I was that momma Barn Swallow who nudged her precious babies out on the landing and told them to get out of the nest, test their wings, and fly. 

The great thing about Barn Swallows is that they always return to their nest in the Spring.  The same nest in the very same spot.  Fly Laura, but please come back home from time to time.

Black Forest Fire

On June 4th, I took the first of five classes from the Hillside Center.  I had waited two years to take them and was so excited to learn these specifics techniques on teaching children with dyslexia how to read.  Monday's class was intense but I learned so very much.

On June 5th, I went to class. I went outside at lunch time to sit in the grass and enjoy the sunshine.  I was unable to stay outside because the wind was so strong and it was so hot outside.  The other problem was that there was a strong smell of smoke in the air.  I called Tom and asked if everything was alright.  He said yes, but I had a weird feeling that something wasn't right.  I returned to my class in the afternoon and got a text from Tom around 3pm stating that there was a fire in Black Forest and that it looked really bad.  The winds and dryness were causing the fire to be almost impossible to fight.  By 4:00, when I headed home, Tom called and told me that our friends, the Selgado's, were being evacuated and needed a place to go. We invited them to come and stay with us.  I had no idea that they had three dogs (for a total of 5 in the house), 2 guinea pigs (for a total of 4 in the house), a rat, and a lizard.  Not to mention four teenagers for a total of 6 in the house. It was hot and we do not have air conditioning.  I just kept thinking that I was so very lucky to have a home when they may not.  I really had to suck it up when one of my own children put the lizards lamp face down on my carpet and burned a hole in it.  Of course the hole in the carpet is right in the middle of the living room.  Needless to say, Tom and I were a little stressed, but we made it work and the kids loved it. We had to close the windows at night because of the smoke coming in the house.  So hot.

On June 6trh, I had to go to class as D20 had paid a lot of money for me to attend the classes.  I thought it would be a way to get my mind off of things.  It did and I finished the HillRap section of my class.  When I got home we still had company, but I made spaghetti and we waited to see what the fire would do.  I continued to burn and get closer and closer to the Selgado home.  People in Black Forest were losing their homes.  The fire would shift directions as the strong winds came and went. We sat outside and watched the helicopters carry water and air tankers drop fire retardent into the burning area.  Later that evening, WE were placed on pre-evacuation status.  The fear was that if the fire jumped Highway 83, we were in danger.  New Life Church had been serving as an evacuation shelter, but was evacuated.  I took a car load of our most valuable belongings over to Deb and Doug's for safe keeping.  This was just in case we got evacuated. The smoke was terrible.  We went to bed that night even more nervous than the day before. Now it was our turn to be scared.

On June 7th, Tom stayed home from work with our guests, but I went to class and began the HillWrite section.  It was hard to concentrate as I had had little sleep for two nights.  The smoke was awful and we knew that when the winds picked up around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, we might be in danger.  Three o'clock came and sure enough, we were evacuated.  We later learned that we were actually on pre-evacuation status but the mandatory evacuation line was only a few streets away.  Tom texted me that we were being evacuated.  I told the teacher of the class that I would not be attending the next day.  She gave me special permission to make up the class in January.  I lost it and got all teary while I waited for Tom to pick me up.  I was so embarrassed.  The Selgado's went to another home.  Laura went to the Spirio's with our dogs.  Tom, Becca, myself, our two guinea pigs, and our two cats all went to Deb and Doug's.  We were restless and I am so very grateful to Deb and Doug for letting us stay with them.  Deb was in Virginia visiting her daughter, so Tom and I made ourselves at home with Doug. 

On June 8th, the fire lines held and around 1 in the afternoon we got a brief shower.  That shower seemed to turn the tables and give the firemen just what they needed to get ahead of the monster and get it contained.  The fire did not cross 83 and around 5 pm, the mandatory evacuation in our neighborhood was lifted.  We went home that night.  So very grateful to our friends and so grateful that we had a home to come home to.  We slept so well that night. 

On June 9th, the fire was more and more contained.  I do believe there are still spots burning even now as I write this, but it is 100% contained.  The Selgado home was spared, but some in the Black Forest were not so lucky.  All total 511 homes were destroyed and two people lost their lives.  Those two were trying to evacuate when it was too late. When they lifted their garage door to leave, the oxygen surge caused their garage to blow up. 

Once again, our community has come together.  Once again I am so proud of the people in our area.  We have proved that we are strong and that God is good.  I have started a quilting group that is meeting at my home on Tuesdays.  We are making quilts for those who have lost their homes.  There are so many things like this that are happening right now.  Waldo Canyon fire was last year.  This year it was Black Forest.  I truly pray that next year we do not have a fire.

Japan

Last May, I was sitting in a meeting (surprise, surprise), actually a secret meeting, the meeting where most parents would like to be a fly on the wall.  We were placing students into their classes for next year.  I got pulled out unexpectedly for a phone call from Tom.  My heart stopped for a moment as I feared the worst.  I picked up the phone and Tom was excited to tell me that Laura had an opportunity to go to Japan, with all expenses paid. It turns out that her Asian History teacher received a grant for 10 students from her high school to travel to Japan.  Everyone who was interested put their name in a hat and Laura was chosen. She will be doing a post tsunami study for ten days.

I had such a mixed bag of emotions.  My relationship with Laura the last few years has been rocky at best.  We have been in counseling and that has helped greatly, but I wanted to handle this just right.  I want to tell her how happy I am for her without going overboard.  I wanted this trip to Japan to be a life changing experience for her where she will come home and "love" me.  I wanted to share with her how I felt when I did summer missions back in college.  I wanted to share with her how my life changed when I left home and did work on my own. I was scared that once she experienced a bit of life beyond us, she wouldn't want to come home. I knew that when she came home from this, she would be "different". We are not ready for me to share these things.  Maybe someday, when she has her own stories.

I remember my parents not wanting me to do summer missions.  I dug in my heals and refused to listen.  I remember telling my dad "I am 18 and I can do this if I want!".  Now I know how they felt. I felt like this was a test of truly letting her go. I realized that my baby girl has grown up.  No matter how I want to protect her, no matter how I can see her making mistakes, no matter how much I want to keep her in the shelter of my home, I must let her go.  I know that this is part of her growing and becoming the woman God intends for her life.  Years ago, I gave her to God.  When she had epilepsy and I couldn't protect her from that, I gave her to God.  Now it's time for God to mold her as an adult, away from me. 

I have to embrace and love this new woman.  I know that I must cherish the childhood memories, but look forward towards the future.  I love the phrase "Don't look back, you are not going that way".

Dear Laura, I look back and remember, but I am so proud of you. I love you no matter what you do. I will always be here when you need to come home, be safe, and be reminded that you are loved.

Teacher of the Year

A lot of folks have asked me whether or not I got "Teacher of the Year" for the district.  I did not.  No worries, because I was "Teacher of the Year" where it mattered to me.  This award proved to me that I have earned the respect of my peers.  It means that I am doing a good job.  It means that I am where I belong.  This teaching career has taught me that God is in control of who and what I am.  If you had told me 25 years ago that I would become a teacher, I would have laughed.  With age, I have come to understand and embrace that God is in charge and that he has a divine plan for my life.  I wanted to include some pictures of an event that I participated in to raise funds for PTO.  Not that this made me teacher of the year, but I love these pictures and I wanted to include them.  To me, these pictures show the fun we have at ATE.  They are a reminder to me to "let go" and have fun.  Don't take myself too seriously.

The week of the Black Forest Fires, I received this email.  It literally came as we were welcoming evacuees into our home.  It stopped me in my tracks. I am humbled.  It's just another confirmation that this career is exactly what God wants me to do right now.  I also wanted to hang on to this letter.  I need to read it on days when I don't feel so sure about myself or my career.


June 6, 2013


Dear Shari:


The Colorado Special Education Advisory Committee (CSEAC) received a large number of nominations for our State “People First” Award. The award is given to individuals from around the State of Colorado who have demonstrated the “People First” philosophy while working with Colorado students with special needs. “People First” means the individual goes above and beyond to make a difference in another person’s life. (S)He recognizes a person as an individual first before seeing the disability. People-First language puts the individual first and the descriptor second (e.g., a person with autism, not an autistic or autistic person).


This year’s winners of the “People First” Award are Mayor Jerry DiTullio (Jefferson County Public Schools), Brett Smith (Academy District 20), Jeanne Boice-Wiley (East Central BOCES), and Kurt Wollenweber (Cherry Creek School District). You should feel very proud and honored as you, too, were nominated. Robert Hewitt had the following to say:


It is a frustrating, heart-wrenching experience to find out that your perfect little child is different than most. You know that his, and your lives, will never be the same. A parent will always have the compassion and patience to deal with the ever-changing dynamics of a special needs child. When our son Jacob was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, my wife and I were immediately terrified of what that would mean for him as he grew up. The world is a cruel place, and often has little regard for the feelings of someone who is different. We met Shari Russell when we moved here from Augusta Georgia. Antelope Trails was Jacob’s fourth school in two years. I can’t describe how much we appreciate the support and love shown by the staff there. Everyone involved in the education team from the Principal, to the nurse and the psychologist has been wonderful, but Shari Russell has always had a special place in our hearts. You can tell just by talking with her that her passion for teaching is exceptional. She loves the kids that she works with. When Shari talks with us about Jacob, it’s like talking to family. He is not just another student to her, and it shows in everything she does. Jacob is tremendously fond of Shari, and trusts her well beyond others. That is not an easy thing for him, and I find it amazing that she puts forth the exceptional effort to maintain it. Jacob can very difficult, but Shari is always up to the challenge, and I believe that Jacob knows that and respects that from her. We are very comfortable taking our son to school at Antelope Trails, because we feel like we are leaving him with the best trained, most creative and patient educators that we could ever dream of, led by Shari Russell. A few months ago, Jacob became extremely upset and ran from the classroom down the hall. As he was huddled in the corner, several folks tried to calm him down but Jacob refused their comfort. Someone went and got Shari, and it was almost like my wife or I was there. Jacob responds to her because of the special relationship that she has with him. I can’t tell you what that means to us to know that someone cares that much for our little guy. That tells me that she is a special person. I have no doubt that she extends that same level of care and concern to all of her students. That makes her an asset to be treasured, and a person worthy of exceptional recognition. My wife and I consider her an angel. We know that Jacob is safe when we aren’t there.


Congratulations on being nominated for a state award!


Warm regards,


Lori Smith Cheryl Gaines

CSEAC Communication Committee Co-chair CSEAC Communication Committee Co-chair

TTFN

8th Grade Done!!!

It's been a while.  I got a tablet a couple of months ago.  I love the thing for playing games and reading books, but not so much for writing.  I haven't been able to upload pictures when I post from it.  Long story short, I am hoping to  blog more now that I have my school laptop at home.  Life has been so very full since my last post.  I thought about a huge, long post about everything, but decided that I want to really reflect on each event. 

Today I'm thinking about my Becca.  She has become such a beautiful young lady.  I am so very proud of her.  She finished Fiddler on the Roof and moved right into Little Mermaid (3 days later).  She played one of Ursala's evil eels.  She did a great job, except I thought she looked beautiful and not so evil.  I suppose that is a good problem to have. 

After Mermaid, our whole family ran the sound and lights for my school's production of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  Busy, busy, busy.

The month of May ended with Becca graduating from eighth grade.  It takes my breath away when I think of my little girl heading to high school.  I remember her in kindergarten.  Not the first day, though traumatic for me, more the end of the kindergarten year.  There was a day when the half day kindergartners practiced going to school for the whole day.  They got to be on the "big" playground and eat lunch at school.  It was sort of a graduation to first grade.  My memory always takes me back to that day when Becca was leaving with Laura to get on the bus (she was practicing that too).  She was heading down the driveway to go to the bus stop.  Her huge backpack against her little body.  Her blond, blond hair.  Her beautiful little smile.  She just looked at me and said goodbye.  So confident. So excited.  So proud of herself. Just like now.

We went to Becca's eighth grade graduation at  Discovery Canyon Campus.  She has elected to go to Rampart High School where Laura attends (she is a Senior this year and that is a whole other post).  I listened as her name was called and I watched her transition to high school. 

I realize that this next year is about change.  Change in our family dynamics. Change in Tom's career.  Change in the way we think and play.  It scares me, but then I think that change is really just life.  Would I want things to stay the same forever? No.  Would I want my children to not grow and be independent adults? No. For me, this year is about learning the art of "letting go".  I am learning how to embrace the future for my family and myself.  I tend to hold on to the familiar.  I know that God has some wonderful things planned for us in the future, I just have to trust and "let go".

TTFN