Last May, I was sitting in a meeting (surprise, surprise), actually a secret meeting, the meeting where most parents would like to be a fly on the wall. We were placing students into their classes for next year. I got pulled out unexpectedly for a phone call from Tom. My heart stopped for a moment as I feared the worst. I picked up the phone and Tom was excited to tell me that Laura had an opportunity to go to Japan, with all expenses paid. It turns out that her Asian History teacher received a grant for 10 students from her high school to travel to Japan. Everyone who was interested put their name in a hat and Laura was chosen. She will be doing a post tsunami study for ten days.
I had such a mixed bag of emotions. My relationship with Laura the last few years has been rocky at best. We have been in counseling and that has helped greatly, but I wanted to handle this just right. I want to tell her how happy I am for her without going overboard. I wanted this trip to Japan to be a life changing experience for her where she will come home and "love" me. I wanted to share with her how I felt when I did summer missions back in college. I wanted to share with her how my life changed when I left home and did work on my own. I was scared that once she experienced a bit of life beyond us, she wouldn't want to come home. I knew that when she came home from this, she would be "different". We are not ready for me to share these things. Maybe someday, when she has her own stories.
I remember my parents not wanting me to do summer missions. I dug in my heals and refused to listen. I remember telling my dad "I am 18 and I can do this if I want!". Now I know how they felt. I felt like this was a test of truly letting her go. I realized that my baby girl has grown up. No matter how I want to protect her, no matter how I can see her making mistakes, no matter how much I want to keep her in the shelter of my home, I must let her go. I know that this is part of her growing and becoming the woman God intends for her life. Years ago, I gave her to God. When she had epilepsy and I couldn't protect her from that, I gave her to God. Now it's time for God to mold her as an adult, away from me.
I have to embrace and love this new woman. I know that I must cherish the childhood memories, but look forward towards the future. I love the phrase "Don't look back, you are not going that way".
Dear Laura, I look back and remember, but I am so proud of you. I love you no matter what you do. I will always be here when you need to come home, be safe, and be reminded that you are loved.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Teacher of the Year
A lot of folks have asked me whether or not I got "Teacher of the Year" for the district. I did not. No worries, because I was "Teacher of the Year" where it mattered to me. This award proved to me that I have earned the respect of my peers. It means that I am doing a good job. It means that I am where I belong. This teaching career has taught me that God is in control of who and what I am. If you had told me 25 years ago that I would become a teacher, I would have laughed. With age, I have come to understand and embrace that God is in charge and that he has a divine plan for my life. I wanted to include some pictures of an event that I participated in to raise funds for PTO. Not that this made me teacher of the year, but I love these pictures and I wanted to include them. To me, these pictures show the fun we have at ATE. They are a reminder to me to "let go" and have fun. Don't take myself too seriously.
The week of the Black Forest Fires, I received this email. It literally came as we were welcoming evacuees into our home. It stopped me in my tracks. I am humbled. It's just another confirmation that this career is exactly what God wants me to do right now. I also wanted to hang on to this letter. I need to read it on days when I don't feel so sure about myself or my career.
June 6, 2013
Dear Shari:
The Colorado Special Education Advisory Committee (CSEAC) received a large number of nominations for our State “People First” Award. The award is given to individuals from around the State of Colorado who have demonstrated the “People First” philosophy while working with Colorado students with special needs. “People First” means the individual goes above and beyond to make a difference in another person’s life. (S)He recognizes a person as an individual first before seeing the disability. People-First language puts the individual first and the descriptor second (e.g., a person with autism, not an autistic or autistic person).
This year’s winners of the “People First” Award are Mayor Jerry DiTullio (Jefferson County Public Schools), Brett Smith (Academy District 20), Jeanne Boice-Wiley (East Central BOCES), and Kurt Wollenweber (Cherry Creek School District). You should feel very proud and honored as you, too, were nominated. Robert Hewitt had the following to say:
It is a frustrating, heart-wrenching experience to find out that your perfect little child is different than most. You know that his, and your lives, will never be the same. A parent will always have the compassion and patience to deal with the ever-changing dynamics of a special needs child. When our son Jacob was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, my wife and I were immediately terrified of what that would mean for him as he grew up. The world is a cruel place, and often has little regard for the feelings of someone who is different. We met Shari Russell when we moved here from Augusta Georgia. Antelope Trails was Jacob’s fourth school in two years. I can’t describe how much we appreciate the support and love shown by the staff there. Everyone involved in the education team from the Principal, to the nurse and the psychologist has been wonderful, but Shari Russell has always had a special place in our hearts. You can tell just by talking with her that her passion for teaching is exceptional. She loves the kids that she works with. When Shari talks with us about Jacob, it’s like talking to family. He is not just another student to her, and it shows in everything she does. Jacob is tremendously fond of Shari, and trusts her well beyond others. That is not an easy thing for him, and I find it amazing that she puts forth the exceptional effort to maintain it. Jacob can very difficult, but Shari is always up to the challenge, and I believe that Jacob knows that and respects that from her. We are very comfortable taking our son to school at Antelope Trails, because we feel like we are leaving him with the best trained, most creative and patient educators that we could ever dream of, led by Shari Russell. A few months ago, Jacob became extremely upset and ran from the classroom down the hall. As he was huddled in the corner, several folks tried to calm him down but Jacob refused their comfort. Someone went and got Shari, and it was almost like my wife or I was there. Jacob responds to her because of the special relationship that she has with him. I can’t tell you what that means to us to know that someone cares that much for our little guy. That tells me that she is a special person. I have no doubt that she extends that same level of care and concern to all of her students. That makes her an asset to be treasured, and a person worthy of exceptional recognition. My wife and I consider her an angel. We know that Jacob is safe when we aren’t there.
Congratulations on being nominated for a state award!
Warm regards,
Lori Smith Cheryl Gaines
CSEAC Communication Committee Co-chair CSEAC Communication Committee Co-chair
TTFN
June 6, 2013
Dear Shari:
The Colorado Special Education Advisory Committee (CSEAC) received a large number of nominations for our State “People First” Award. The award is given to individuals from around the State of Colorado who have demonstrated the “People First” philosophy while working with Colorado students with special needs. “People First” means the individual goes above and beyond to make a difference in another person’s life. (S)He recognizes a person as an individual first before seeing the disability. People-First language puts the individual first and the descriptor second (e.g., a person with autism, not an autistic or autistic person).
This year’s winners of the “People First” Award are Mayor Jerry DiTullio (Jefferson County Public Schools), Brett Smith (Academy District 20), Jeanne Boice-Wiley (East Central BOCES), and Kurt Wollenweber (Cherry Creek School District). You should feel very proud and honored as you, too, were nominated. Robert Hewitt had the following to say:
It is a frustrating, heart-wrenching experience to find out that your perfect little child is different than most. You know that his, and your lives, will never be the same. A parent will always have the compassion and patience to deal with the ever-changing dynamics of a special needs child. When our son Jacob was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, my wife and I were immediately terrified of what that would mean for him as he grew up. The world is a cruel place, and often has little regard for the feelings of someone who is different. We met Shari Russell when we moved here from Augusta Georgia. Antelope Trails was Jacob’s fourth school in two years. I can’t describe how much we appreciate the support and love shown by the staff there. Everyone involved in the education team from the Principal, to the nurse and the psychologist has been wonderful, but Shari Russell has always had a special place in our hearts. You can tell just by talking with her that her passion for teaching is exceptional. She loves the kids that she works with. When Shari talks with us about Jacob, it’s like talking to family. He is not just another student to her, and it shows in everything she does. Jacob is tremendously fond of Shari, and trusts her well beyond others. That is not an easy thing for him, and I find it amazing that she puts forth the exceptional effort to maintain it. Jacob can very difficult, but Shari is always up to the challenge, and I believe that Jacob knows that and respects that from her. We are very comfortable taking our son to school at Antelope Trails, because we feel like we are leaving him with the best trained, most creative and patient educators that we could ever dream of, led by Shari Russell. A few months ago, Jacob became extremely upset and ran from the classroom down the hall. As he was huddled in the corner, several folks tried to calm him down but Jacob refused their comfort. Someone went and got Shari, and it was almost like my wife or I was there. Jacob responds to her because of the special relationship that she has with him. I can’t tell you what that means to us to know that someone cares that much for our little guy. That tells me that she is a special person. I have no doubt that she extends that same level of care and concern to all of her students. That makes her an asset to be treasured, and a person worthy of exceptional recognition. My wife and I consider her an angel. We know that Jacob is safe when we aren’t there.
Congratulations on being nominated for a state award!
Warm regards,
Lori Smith Cheryl Gaines
CSEAC Communication Committee Co-chair CSEAC Communication Committee Co-chair
TTFN
Monday, June 24, 2013
8th Grade Done!!!
It's been a while. I got a tablet a couple of months ago. I love the thing for playing games and reading books, but not so much for writing. I haven't been able to upload pictures when I post from it. Long story short, I am hoping to blog more now that I have my school laptop at home. Life has been so very full since my last post. I thought about a huge, long post about everything, but decided that I want to really reflect on each event.
Today I'm thinking about my Becca. She has become such a beautiful young lady. I am so very proud of her. She finished Fiddler on the Roof and moved right into Little Mermaid (3 days later). She played one of Ursala's evil eels. She did a great job, except I thought she looked beautiful and not so evil. I suppose that is a good problem to have.
After Mermaid, our whole family ran the sound and lights for my school's production of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Busy, busy, busy.
The month of May ended with Becca graduating from eighth grade. It takes my breath away when I think of my little girl heading to high school. I remember her in kindergarten. Not the first day, though traumatic for me, more the end of the kindergarten year. There was a day when the half day kindergartners practiced going to school for the whole day. They got to be on the "big" playground and eat lunch at school. It was sort of a graduation to first grade. My memory always takes me back to that day when Becca was leaving with Laura to get on the bus (she was practicing that too). She was heading down the driveway to go to the bus stop. Her huge backpack against her little body. Her blond, blond hair. Her beautiful little smile. She just looked at me and said goodbye. So confident. So excited. So proud of herself. Just like now.
We went to Becca's eighth grade graduation at Discovery Canyon Campus. She has elected to go to Rampart High School where Laura attends (she is a Senior this year and that is a whole other post). I listened as her name was called and I watched her transition to high school.
I realize that this next year is about change. Change in our family dynamics. Change in Tom's career. Change in the way we think and play. It scares me, but then I think that change is really just life. Would I want things to stay the same forever? No. Would I want my children to not grow and be independent adults? No. For me, this year is about learning the art of "letting go". I am learning how to embrace the future for my family and myself. I tend to hold on to the familiar. I know that God has some wonderful things planned for us in the future, I just have to trust and "let go".
TTFN
Today I'm thinking about my Becca. She has become such a beautiful young lady. I am so very proud of her. She finished Fiddler on the Roof and moved right into Little Mermaid (3 days later). She played one of Ursala's evil eels. She did a great job, except I thought she looked beautiful and not so evil. I suppose that is a good problem to have.
After Mermaid, our whole family ran the sound and lights for my school's production of Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Busy, busy, busy.
The month of May ended with Becca graduating from eighth grade. It takes my breath away when I think of my little girl heading to high school. I remember her in kindergarten. Not the first day, though traumatic for me, more the end of the kindergarten year. There was a day when the half day kindergartners practiced going to school for the whole day. They got to be on the "big" playground and eat lunch at school. It was sort of a graduation to first grade. My memory always takes me back to that day when Becca was leaving with Laura to get on the bus (she was practicing that too). She was heading down the driveway to go to the bus stop. Her huge backpack against her little body. Her blond, blond hair. Her beautiful little smile. She just looked at me and said goodbye. So confident. So excited. So proud of herself. Just like now.
I realize that this next year is about change. Change in our family dynamics. Change in Tom's career. Change in the way we think and play. It scares me, but then I think that change is really just life. Would I want things to stay the same forever? No. Would I want my children to not grow and be independent adults? No. For me, this year is about learning the art of "letting go". I am learning how to embrace the future for my family and myself. I tend to hold on to the familiar. I know that God has some wonderful things planned for us in the future, I just have to trust and "let go".
TTFN
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)