Transitions

My heart is so heavy with the situation at school. My students continue to amaze me. One of my parents wrote an email to the director of Elementary Education in our district and told her that I needed some sort of recognition for the work I have done with her son. I am humbled. The thing is, I don't see it as doing much. I have brought him consistency in a world where he has none. This is the little guy that was homeless over Christmas. I have loved him when he was out of control. I hold him until he calms down. I still love him. I love them all and that is the problem. I truly believe God is telling me that I must leave and apply for positions closer to home. I truly believe that because of my new qualifications, I will be transferred to another school that is even further away from home. For those of you who have lived in Colorado in the winter, this can be really tricky. The heaviness comes when I think of leaving these beautiful children. So many people have given up on them.

I had a meeting with my principal concerning the possibilities of me transferring to another school. I told her that if I could stay in my current position, at my current school, I would stay. She looked at me and said "start applying in your district". Well, that hit me like a wet blanket.

I got a call last week from my neighbor. She specifically called to make sure I was applying for positions in the district close to our home so that she could come and work for me. This was the second call of this nature in one weekend. I get it that I have options and that I am wanted in other places. I know I will succeed, but I just can't get past leaving the kiddos and families I currently serve. I saw an opening at Discovery Canyon, the school closest to where I live. I met every single requirement, except that I can't start until August. I know I will get a job somewhere else.

Most of you know that I am a Christian and truly believe in prayer. Believe me, I have been praying like crazy over this. Here is what has happened this week. I opened my devotional study book yesterday and it was talking about how God told the people to circle the walls of Jericho seven times and then stop. Just stop and let God be God. I realized that I have not been doing this. I circle those walls at least 100 times a day. I need to just circle a couple of times (fret over this) and then trust that God is God and things will be as they are truly supposed to be.

One of the people that I truly hope to meet when I get to heaven is Fred Rogers. Mister Rogers spoke to me as a child. I would like to think that it was partly his wisdom that led me to this career teaching these special children. I have often thought of the things he used to say on his show as I teach. I use some of his expressions. Last Friday night, I went grocery shopping after school. I can't resist the discount book bin. I looked in and there on top was a book that caught my eye. "Life's Journeys According to Mister Rogers - Things to Remember Along the Way". I opened it up and I started to cry, right there in the store. This is what it said on the page I opened to. "Transitions are almost always signs of growth, but they can bring feelings of loss. To get somewhere new, we may have to leave somewhere else behind." Enough said.