Granny

Today my 97 year old grandmother was transferred to Hospice care.  She hasn't eaten in two weeks.  I know it won't be long now until she goes home.  Home where 2 out of her 3 children are waiting.  Home where her husband of 65 years and a husband she married when she was 85, await her (awkward?).  She is ready and I think in my heart of hearts, I am ready to let her go.  I will selfishly miss her.  In the last 6 months she left her home of 70 years and had to have full time care in a nursing home.  I think I began to say goodbye when she left her home.  The thing that impressed me the most is that when I called her about a month ago, she still remembered me, recognized my voice and told me that she loved me. 

I grew up with family strife.  I think my parents had to grow to love one another's in-laws.  Perhaps the idea that my mom "ran off" and married my dad did not get the relationship started in the right direction.  After my parents were married, I came along less than a year later. In the end, many many years later, my mother loves my Granny Day and I know that she will miss her. 

I would like to think that I am a better person because Granny was in my life.  She gave me a love for the garden and she taught me how to clean.  She is the one person in the world I see, when I look at myself in the mirror.  Big bosom's, big arms, nothing dainty, even the pattern in which my hair is greying, all from her.  I think my stubborn attitude came from her. So much of who I am came from her.  I only wish I could dance the Charleston like her.

I am going to call her, whether she knows me or not, and I am going to tell her that I love her and that it's alright to go home.  I want to tell her that she served us all well.  I want to tell her that I will see her again. She sang a song to me when I was little. I can hear her sing "Swing high, swing low, sweet chariot, coming for to carry me home".  I know her chariot awaits.