Wow What a Ride!!!!

I suppose I should have written this yesterday as that is what I am mostly posting about.  I am proud to announce that I got out and walked 2 miles.  I walked up and around the Compassion Trail.  I can't help but think of Jen Janus every time I do this trail.  I sure do miss you Jen. You are my inspiration to keep moving and not giving up on exercise.  Anyway, it's a start and I am glad to get moving.  The rest of the day was spent cleaning and going through things in the basement that we might perhaps sell at our garage sale this weekend.  We have decided that all of the proceeds will go towards paying for our Joplin missions trip.

I promised myself that I would be real here, so this is a little tough.  Laura and I had a really hard day yesterday.  We are both in counseling, trying to work through our communication issues.  This almost seems impossible with a teenager, but we are trying our best.  We got in a big ole argument on the way to the counselor's office.  I suppose in a way it was a blessing.  We were able to sit down and really gain some tools for communication.  It's the best conversation we have had in a loooong time.  I love my daughter and this is really tough stuff as I am also working through some of my self esteem issues.  I think this summer is going to be filled with lots of inner work.  That's alright as long as we can come out the other side stronger and better.

Yesterday was also hard because my Aunt Margaret passed away in the morning.  Throughout the day, I kept thinking of her and old memories swept over me.  I'm being real here, so I will say that not all of those memories were pleasant.  She was married three times, that I know of.  She wasn't the motherly type.  I was crushed as a little girl when she said that my mom's coffee tasted "terrible". She was pregnant with Brock at the same time my mom was pregnant with me.  She and my dad had a bet that whoever had a girl, the other would have to pay for the girls first perm.  She didn't do it.  Not sure why a "perm" was the wager.  I wish it had been a dress or something a bit more useful. My granny told me that when she was a teenager, she came home from a date and announced that she and her boyfriend had driven to the Georgia state line and had gotten married.  I suppose that was husband number one.  It didn' t last long.  I also heard a story about when she was a toddler. Granny said that she was always a "risk taker" and was in to everything.  She crawled into a tar bucket and got stuck.

My Granny Cotton worked with her when she was a teenager.  They both worked in the restaurant portion of a truck stop.  Granny said that Aunt Margaret flirted with many of the men that came and went. My dad used to swim across Lake Tracy, it was in their back yard, and meet Aunt Margaret at the truck stop, in order to walk her home.  Granny didn't want her getting home any other way.

I was told that for a while she was sort of a "nurses aid" to a local obstetrician, when they still made house calls.  I was told that she helped deliver some of my cousins who are now in their 50s.  She had Robbie by a man I never met.  She had Brock by a man named James Dalton.  I vaguely remember bits and pieces of him when they were married.

Aunt Margaret had beautiful red hair.  She was always full of adventure.  She took me on my first trip out of state to West Virginia.  Granted, I couldn't figure out why she was sleeping with someone who wasn't her husband, but I still had a good time and I cherish the memory.  She introduced me to Hamburger Fried Rice.  She LOVED my mom's baked beans.  She managed a hotel. We still use the quilt she gave me when I gave birth to Laura.  She loved my dad.  She doted on my granny.  She loved Uncle Frank.  Perhaps she had a rocky start in the marriage department, but I truly believe Uncle Frank was the love of her life.  After Uncle Frank passed away, she didn't want to live any more. My cousin said that she died from "Brain Degeneration".  Perhaps her physical brain functioned less but her spirit did not wane.   Aunt Margaret was smart and nothing could crush her desire to live life a little more fully than the rest of her clan.  I think she loved being the "eccentric" one.  She loved trying new things and was never afraid of the outcome.

I would like to think that when she left this life yesterday, she looked at Pop, my daddy, Uncle Frank and many others that have passed on and said "Wow what a ride that was....".  I love you Aunt Margaret.  I can only hope that as I proceed through my counseling, a bit of your fearlessness and confidence will rub off on me.